The Gaylord Five

Hiatus

The Gaylord Five are being scattered to the four corners of the world this semester (minus 1), so we’ll be officially on hiatus.

CHINA

IRELAND

ESPAÑA

POLYNESIAN ISLANDS (+ Massachusetts )

COLORADO COLLEGE (it counts)

Things We Hate That We Love

Vampire Diaries… 

Elena is a bitch, she’s got all the dudes.

Damon: 

Stefan: 

Old Boyfriend Sam (on right) + bonus jonas werewolf rich bitch (on left):

This show is addictive like crack. It’s terrible, and yet we keep coming back for more of that terrible high.  Also, there’s not enough sex. 

Also, also Stefan has no personality and Damon has super ‘tude.

And finally, we might be team Alaric.

List of people Naynay wants to write angry letters to

1. Mario Lopez - for his constantly bad pronunciation of Rhianna, overusing “master mix” and excessively tight shirts

2. Creed - for all the obvious reasons, plus the vagina references in “With Arms Wide Open” (also, correspondingly Nickelback, for sounding like Creed.)

3. Nick Lachey - wearing the same shirt, having been in the band 98 degrees, clearly hating his hosting gig, and delivering terrible teleprompted puns like a stilted doll

Who’s next?????????

sobriety

the lack of posts here can be blamed on the sobriety (also illness) of the gaylord five. sorry I’m not sorry.

“The time has come, the walrus said

to take some nyquill and go to bed.

To dream of things yet undreamed

like ramen bowls and pigs with wings.”

-SL

Things We Love: Alumni at Homecoming

The annual homecoming dance is a time of mischief, mix-drinks and mistakes… for alumni. The Gaylord 5 enjoyed a ruckus filled night, that for once, we weren’t the cause of.  As Mark Webb (director of another “Thing We Love”: 500 Days of Summer) said, “CC forever! …I’m gonna go get drunk with my friends now!”

Best Moments of the Night:

1. reteaching several former bro’s to carry their beers above the crowd instead of body level

2. en mass “like a prayer” karaoke

3. witnessing adults gettin it

4. winking at hot young alumni

5. that bearded guy

*photos are from the internet and not the actual party

Mike Posner is white Pitbull

From Wikipedia: Posner was born and raised in Michigan. His father, a Wayne County Prosecutor, is Jewish and his mother is Catholic. Posner attend Duke University. There, Posner was a member of the Sigma Nu fraternity and graduated in 2010 with a degree in sociology and a certificate in markets and management, with an overall GPA of 3.59

We are soulmates.

BUT he looks like white pitbull (who none the less we would still buhbang).

Evidence:

GUYS I HAVE HIS HAT. I HAVE THE SAME HAT AS HIM!

For Context: tonight is late Night Steak Night as well as Casual-Shots-Tuesday.

TOPIC: We hate Bruno Mars. A lot.

Here are our reasons:

1. Sexist (as well as just bad) lyrics

2. GRENADES??????   no.

3. His hat is ugly and misplaced.

Things we would rather do than listen to Bruno Mars:

1. Fondle Oprah’s fat rolls

2. Have sex with Pitbull

3. Make out with Danny DeVito

4. Catch a grenade

5. Have my hand cut by a blade

6. Step in front of a train

7. Step in front of two trains

8. Have Bruno Mars smile in my face then rip the breaks out my car

9. Have the writing skills of Bruno Mars

10. Pour one out for the homies